Unless you were lucky enough to meet the love of your life first time around and have stayed with them forever, you almost certainly have experienced the ending of a love affair. If it’s happened to you recently, no doubt you’re still feeling the pain that almost invariably comes with the end of a relationship. Here are four quick top tips on overcoming a breakup…because sometimes we just need reminding!
1. Be nice to yourself:
While you may be feeling low and unloved, the end of a relationship doesn’t have to mean you stay on your own forever. Mr or Ms Right could be the next person to walk through the door, and hope can be a powerful ally as you try to mend a broken heart. In the meantime, be nice to yourself. Do all the things you wanted to do but your last lover wasn’t interested in. There are probably some shows and films that you would love to see. Grab some friends and head out for the evening. If you can afford to, splurge. If you aren’t socialising or going out to dinners every weekend, why shouldn’t you have that new purse or golf driver?
2. Avoid becoming desperate:
Desperation is not an attractive emotion in anyone, but it has a nasty way of rearing its head in the aftermath of a break up. If you want your ex to take you back, you need to show them what they are missing. They won’t want someone who is miserable all the time. They want the person they originally fell in love with.
So despite how you are feeling you always need to present the best side of you in public. Dress nicely so you look great and above all plaster a smile on your face. Even if you feel like you are going to die from the pain, you may be surprised how acting the part can actually improve your mood, so act happy; even if it is the performance of your life. We can always cry into our pillow when we are home alone!
There’s an added benefit to this too. Our friends are no doubt going to rally for us after a break up, and immediately after it happens its great to have our support group by our side. But the reality is everyone has their own lives to lead, and at some point we are going to have to pick ourselves up and soldier on. If we’re at least doing our best to cope, we don’t become burdensome on our friends, which means they will be all the more ready to provide a shoulder to cry on (or lean on, for the lads) when the really tough moments hit.
3. Life must go on:
Yes! Crying into your pillow is one thing but we didn’t mean all day every day. Feeling miserable after a break up is natural but if you wallow in self pity, you generally end up feeling worse. There is more to life than any partner so get out there and start enjoying yourself. You may have to pretend for a while but soon you will find that you are actually having fun again.
4. Don’t over analyze what went wrong:
Yes we need to learn from our mistakes but the breakup may not have been your fault. It could simply be that the other person got scared of commitment i.e. cold feet. If they get in contact , agree to meet them for a drink and see how things go. Be polite and listen to what they have to say. If they want you back, don’t be too eager, but agree to see how it goes.
If you were the one who finished things, but now realize you made a mistake, tell your ex. They are not mind readers and they won’t know you want to rekindle your love affair unless you tell them. If you realize you made a mistake or think they did by ending things but aren’t sure what to do, we have step by step plans you can access right now if you want your ex to take you back.
Men and women often get things wrong as we see life so differently. Sometimes we have to split from our partner to realize what we had was real love. Often a break and a little communication goes a long way to overcoming a breakup and getting back together.